Friday, September 12, 2014

Start telling yourself a better story


Marlon Brando and Faye Dunaway in Don Juan De Marco
Maybe you read my recent post on never facing the facts, no matter what.  And, maybe you thought:  Come on, it can be really dangerous not to face reality.

My first question today is:  What is reality?

Do you keep telling yourself stories based on the conventional wisdom?  That is, what everyone else keeps saying and believing?  And, if so, what makes that real?

Notice that the conventional wisdom about any given situation is usually pretty dour.  It's usually an excuse to pack it in, give up, and settle for something "more realistic."

Does this "wisdom" make you stronger and happier?  More passionate to reclaim and live the rest of your life exactly the way you want to? Or, is it the reverse? Does "facing the truth" about the options for your post-40 single life make you want to give up and crawl under a rock -- just the way it has done for generations of women before us?

And today's second question:  What harm will come of your believing that you're the most beautiful woman on Earth, and are here to create beauty while giving everyone you meet the great pleasure of knowing you?


Seeing beyond what is visible to the eye
"When I say that all my women are dazzling beauties, they object.  But I see these women for how they truly are:  glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect because I am not limited by my eyesight.

 "I search out the beauty that lies within them until it overwhelms everything else, and then they cannot resist their desire to release that beauty and envelop me in it." -- Johnny Depp in Don Juan De Marco

Question number three is:  Why not do this for ourselves?  Because what you believe about yourself will transform you.

If you haven't seen it already, I highly recommend (for more reasons than I have time to write about here) the 1994 film Don Juan De Marco.  It explores how a psychiatrist a day a way from retirement has his life transformed when he treats a delusional patient whose delusions are far more beautiful and poetic than reality.

It's also about learning to pay attention, learning to see and appreciate what's in front of you -- and, after you watch this film, you may find yourself changing your definition of reality.

The psychiatrist, played by Marlon Brando, rediscovers himself as a lover and rediscovers the beauty of his wife of 35 years, played by Faye Dunaway.

Near the end of the film, he says to his wife, "I need to find out who you are.  I need to know all about you.  I want to know what your hopes and dreams are that got lost along the way when I was thinking about myself."

His wife responds, "I thought you'd never ask."

But, we don't have to wait for a husband's devotion before we can feel and know our own beauty.

Do you dare to live for a week as if you are the most beautiful woman on Earth?
Every day, for a week, live each moment in the knowledge that you are the most fascinating creature in existence.  That, by your very being, you can spread joy, love, and that special essence of you wherever you deign to look.

Does this exercise bring up some very difficult feelings for you?  Does just the idea of imagining yourself this way make you so uncomfortable that you refuse to even try it?  I'd love to help with this.

For those who are willing to take a chance on this exercise, it will feel wonderful, but it also may take quite a bit of focus to stay in it.

As always, please comment with your revelations and experiences.


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