"Are Men Really More Attractive as They Age?", in the back of my mind I was thinking about the 2013 film Enough Said, with James Gandolfini and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
So, I'm making it my chick-flick recommendation for this weekend's viewing.
Here's why. I have one big caveat regarding that July 11 blog post: Like attracts like, and we're cruising for a crash (and a badly bruised ego) when we expect to attract men who are head and tails above the level we're at in our own lives.
My previous post was about how men's feelings of entitlement are colored by a lifetime of women's petting, coddling, and abetting their shortcomings and bad behavior. Not to mention daily media photo spreads of the much-younger conquests of middle-aged rich and famous men.
But can women's expectations be a little off the mark, too? For sure.
I decided to write about Enough Said because of a couple of recent coaching calls with Dynamic Divorcee clients.
One particular lady in her late 40s, without a decent job, floating while looking for a lifesaver, expressed her goal to find a professional man to support her and her three children so she could stay home and pursue her clothing design hobby.
There's nothing wrong with hoping that a man can help better a woman's financial situation. Men and women often bring different gifts to the table in a relationship. So I asked this client to take a look at what she is bringing to the table. What does she have to offer to the mythical Prince Charming?
In Enough Said, Louis-Dreyfus' character Eva, a massage therapist and divorced, single mother, begins dating a regular guy, a self-described "slob" who is actually a person at her own level, and, with this, she immediately begins to find fault. Should she settle for him? Should she deserve better? Intruigued? Watch and find out what happens.
Back to real life: What's the best way to meet a great man (and have the greatest amount of choice and power in the relationship)? Bring to the table exactly what you hope he will bring to you. Ever notice that the moment you're no longer white-knuckling a situation, you immediately get what you've been longing for? Same thing here.
Get your financial house in order. It's way easier to do this yourself than to expect someone else to do it for you. Show the man you like that you're not expecting him to provide you with the basics. Let him see that you have your own life, a great circle of friends. That your life is already full of interests and yummy goodness that you may be willing to share with him, if he's willing to try hard enough to show you that he is the one.
That's an attitude much more likely to meet with success than for a middle-aged woman to expect to find a man willing to do all the up-leveling for her. And, way more fun. And . . . now you deserve to be picky : ) .