Friday, August 29, 2014

8 Must-Haves for Every Dynamic Divorcee's Recovery Toolkit

From Power Thought Cards by Louise Hay

When you're slogging your way through every single day, unsure whether life will ever get better, it really helps to inject a little fun and whimsy into the process.

With that in mind, I offer you my version of divorce recovery first aid:  8 Must-Haves for Every Dynamic Divorcee's Toolkit.

We have all five senses covered here -- and the sixth sense is even in here, too : ) .

Including all of your senses in your toolkit helps to stop your mind from playing it's endless loop of gloom and doom.

Put together this toolkit today.  Especially essential when you don't have enough love and support around you.  And, these days, who does?

8.  You might be wishing for a security blanket right now -- I did.  Here's the adult version that works so well for me:  A favorite, comforting light-weight scarf, keeping you cozy and protected, like one of these from World Market (and, bonus, some cute ways to tie them, here).

It will pick up the scent of whatever yummy fragrance you wear (more about that below), and will start to give you a soothing, relaxed and happy vibe every time you wear it.  That vibe is cumulative, so wear it often, have it on you when you attend happy, uplifting events, and it will start to remind you of the good times and the good people in your life.  (A new scarf is best.  Don't choose one that has memories associated with your ex!)

7.  A talisman that centers you whenever you hold it in your hand.  Sometimes the nicest one is the one that you pick up during a long walk.  But, if you have a local rock shop or metaphysical store, you can see which crystals or gemstones feel the best in your hand.  You don't have to research the meanings of the various gemstones.  Just choose one that feels good in your hand and makes you feel the kind of energy you need most, whether it's peace, contentment, fire, self-love, or confidence.

A practice that I like is to hold the stone in my hand every morning and intend my wish for that day.  Then, right before bedtime, I hold the stone in my hand and release everything that happened, both good and bad, into my stone for safekeeping so I can sleep peacefully.

6. Get a Pinterest account to make a virtual vision board of where you want your life to be . . . next week, next month, next year.  This is so much fun!  You can make your board visible or private, as you choose.  This is the *perfect* tool for women who have worked themselves to the bone for so long, and sacrificed so much for others that they no longer even know what they like, what they desire, or who they are.  Just visit Pinterest and start clicking.

I also think it's nice to print out some key images that really motivate you, buy a 4 x 6 purse-sized photo album (I use this one, for under $5, where one of your vision-board images can be visible on the cover) and keep your little album with you to motivate you during the day.  There's something about having images you can touch!

5. A natural, grounding scent that helps you to feel calm, positive, powerful, and relaxed.  I enjoy Karma from Lush (great if you like a patchouli/orange mix -- both grounding and mood elevating), just $10.95 US for the solid perfume -- and it's very long-lasting on the skin.

I also love the Relax synergy blend from Plant Therapy, containing lavender, marjoram, patchouli, mandarin, geranium, and chamomile -- starts at just $7.99 US for a 10ml bottle at the Plant Therapy website (but the company offers even better pricing on  This doesn't last long on my skin (but it may on yours).  However, I find that it's a scent that is both relaxing and energizing at the same time, and works great in a diffuser so that your home or workplace can be filled with this gentle, but recovery-supporting scent.  Works great at bedtime!

You also can get double-duty from your scent -- if you're open to the idea of creating a little magic -- when you choose a hoodoo oil from Moma Sarah at Conjured Cardea.

My favorite is her Queen of Sheba oil,which Sarah describes as a "great drawing oil to be used in glamouries, prosperity workings, or added to any spell or ritual to help conquer your goal. The Queen of Sheba, Makeda, ruled what is modern day Yemen, Ethiopia, and Eritrea. Stories of her include flying carpets, talking birds, and teleportation! At the head of a caravan of riches, she visits Israel's King Solomon to test his legendary wisdom. After Solomon successfully answers her riddles, the queen showered him with 4 and a half tons of gold!

"Invoke your inner queen and exude confidence and charm. Invoke her generous spirit and be rewarded for your hard work! Contains cinnamon, rose, balm of gilead, myrrh, frankincense, spikenard root, rose oil and a few secrets."

I rub a drop of this oil into the palms of my hands and lightly press my hands to my face (and sometimes rub it on other parts of the body as well), with the invocation that I am absolutely irresistible, magnetic, and unstoppable in everything I do.

Moma Sarah also recommends, for the woman going through divorce, her Queen B*tch oil and soap,  Crucible of Courage oil, and Attraction powder because of how well these items have helped many of her clients obtain new and better lives.  You can find out more about all of it here.  If you're not familiar with the concept of magical workings, just contact Sarah for product recommendations. 

4.  Power Thought Cards by Louise Hay.  I have such a love of this card deck that I can't even tell you.  Through all my darkest hours, it just wouldn't leave me alone.  I bought this deck during the early days when I had just separated from my husband after finding out about his secret life with another woman.  I really didn't know whether I was living or dead.  Since then, it seems that every time I forget about this wonderful, adorable set of cards, someone gives me another of the same deck!  So, seven years later, I now have three of them : ) .

This is a must-have set of 64 whimsical, brightly colored cards that reorient your thoughts toward the positive and the possible.  I use them as an oracle:  I ask a question and get clarity and a plan of action by drawing one card.  Always uplifting.  Do this rather than cast your fate to tarot cards, which can leave you feeling more depressed than when you started.

3.  Kundalini yoga DVDs by Ana Brett and Ravi Singh.  You don't even have to leave home for the gym, and most of Brett's DVDs allow you to create your own workout (even if you only have 5 or 10 minutes) from among the various segments on each DVD by using their matrix feature.   This is more than just exercise.  Flows are created to cause specific effects (stress relief, increase in energy, relaxation) and there's even a Kundalini Yoga Quick Fixes DVD that treats a host of different issues, with a series of poses/flows that each take only a few minutes.  Total lifesaver, and you feel great after just a brief practice.

2.  An uplifting (yet not preachy or saccharine) weekly podcast.  Here's my favorite that I've listened to for years -- with a unique take on manifesting.  It's called Flowdreaming, and you can access ten of creator Summer McStravick's top podcasts here.  You can also subscribe via iTunes.

1.  A go-to blog (like this one) that you can count on for a weekly infusion of attitude adjustment.  And, it really helps if the person behind the blog is available to coach you one-on-one through some of those rock-and-a-hard-place spots.  If you're interested in one-to-one work with me (you can be anywhere on Earth as long as we have English as a common language), you'll find more about that here.


  1. I really like the idea of this. I opted for Conjured Cardea's Reversing oil in my tool kit, because my marriage was abusive & it's easier to just send that energy back, rather than trying to change it :)

    1. Thanks for your comment! I really love working with essential oil products, whatever your choice, because I believe that the herbs and spices do trigger real positive changes in our emotions and our ability to deal with the trauma and pain of divorce. Let me know how the Reversing worked for you. I've never tried it.

    2. It worked pretty excellently, I could really feel the weight from the negativity lifted off of my heart after using it.

    3. That's great! I also really really highly recommend the Yoga Quick Fixes DVD -- or any of the DVDs by Ana Brett. Just a few minutes quickly lifts depressed or anxious emotional states -- or just about any negative state one wants to change! Thank you for reporting back on your results : )