Friday, March 28, 2014

Let your body send the message, "I'm ready to receive!"

French actress Anouk Aimee
Ever notice how some people attract you on sight?  They may or may not be conventionally beautiful, but you immediately warm up to them, and they look so full of life and energy that you just want to get near them and bask in the glow?  Or, they have that air of mystery: eyes that intrigue you and make you wonder who they are?

Maybe not so coincidentally, these same fascinating people often have it all.  They magnetize people, things, and situations to come to them.  They're not beating their heads against a wall or pushing a boulder up a mountain.  


Hmmmm. How can it be so easy for some people and not for others?  

If you've pondered this question from time to time, I'd like to shed some light on one aspect of it.

These magnetic personalities are connected to their own personal security system, so they feel whole and complete within themselves.

Of course, just like the rest of us, they sometimes feel worried or anxious.  And, of course, just like everyone else, they have the usual array of problems that come along in life.  

But these "attractors" or "magnetizers" have a way of calming and nurturing themselves so that they attract people and situations that are healthy and have lots to give -- and they won't feel attracted to people and situations that deplete them.

If you're one of those people who feels "everything happens to me," and have the evidence to prove it, have you ever asked yourself, "Why does this happen to me?"  There are so many different reasons that it's impossible to list them all, but here are a few prominent ones that I see often with my clients:
  • Maybe you grew up in an atmosphere where you were afraid, rejected, criticized, or just didn't have enough space to "be you."
  • Maybe you moved around a lot and never felt the deep sensation of having a home or being "at home" in your surroundings.
  • Maybe you just never felt loved, safe, and secure.
  • Maybe you were raised to believe that there's never enough, or that the good things in life are for other people, lucky people, but "not for us."
  • Maybe you've been through so many tough times yourself that you question whether you can ever feel settled down, or feel that people, life, or even God will ever be on your side.
But, more importantly, let's look at one of many ways that you can change this.  

Your source of personal magnetism
Imagine your personal attractiveness and magnetism as a beautiful bowl of energy that you carry within you, at the level of your pelvis.  

There are many easy ways you can fill this bowl full of a powerful energy that you can imagine as a honey-like substance that radiates beauty and attraction from your every pore.  But there are also many ways that this energy can evaporate and dry up so that you feel weak, tired, and disconnected.

How does this beautiful life force evaporate?  I bet you already know.  Stress, tension, worry, energy-draining people in your life, relationships that don't make you feel happy and fulfilled.

In order to fill your bowl of beautiful, honey-like energy and feel ready to receive even more goodness everywhere you turn, here are a few suggestions.  The more they seem a little outside your comfort zone, the more you should try them.  You have nothing to lose!
Sophia Loren
  • Does it annoy you when people tell you to relax?  Try relaxing in a different way.  Relax your pelvis and lower back first.  Release tension from your legs and feet and let them sink into the floor.  Loosen your knees.  Take a big, deep breath into your pelvis, and imagine it expanding and going from feeling tense and dry to feeling soft and open.
  • Picture a beautiful, golden bowl balanced within your pelvis, filling with life-giving honey-like energy that moves up through your body feeding every cell.  Inhale this warm, sunny energy and feel it shining out through every pore.
  • Choose an magnetism mentor who is already very connected to her power source, and see how she moves.  (One of my favorites is film actress Sophia Loren.)  See how what is within her being radiates out to be expressed by her physical form.  You have this power, too, in your own unique way.
  • Check in with your pelvis to see how you're feeling at any given moment.  Place your hands on your abdomen under your navel, and breathe into the hands.  Stretch your lower back and do a few hip circles.  Relax your sitting bones into your chair, if you're sitting down.
  • Take a deep inhalation, and then open your mouth, let your tongue out and fully exhale, as if you're exhaling everything unwanted out through your sitting bones.
  • Now try walking from this place.  Your hips are soft and relaxed, and right underneath you, supporting you.  Because of this, your upper body is relaxed and confident.  You are completely safe and in your power.  Take a look at this:


Okay, so how does all of this help you to receive more and more of all the good things life has to offer?  All I ask is that you try it, stay in a state of luxurious self-awareness of your body, and see what happens.

If you try these suggestions and love them, maybe you're ready to quickly dissolve your own resistance to receiving in a very big way,and see your life transform in just two hours.  

When you embody it, you receive it.  
I'm teaching new, body-centered information in a brief, one-on-one workshop via Skype that has never been available in any of my other programs.  It's some of my most powerful coaching ever, but until now, I've held back from offering some of the most important secrets I developed for myself, thinking that maybe this information was a little too "out there."  (But, please don't worry.  There's nothing embarrassing, or too personal in this program.)

As you can see from the little taste of the program above, it's based on getting out of the brain and into the body and emotions so that you end up with a more powerful presence and "aura" that elicits the kind of behavior from others that you've always wanted.

Invisible to Irresistible in Just 2 Hours -- $397 

(special offer $297, when you purchase by April 6*)
This is a 2-hour individual coaching program via online video call (don't worry, it's easy to access) that gets to the root of the most common challenge I find that divorced women have:  being able to believe they are worthy
and be able to radiate confidence from the moment they enter a room (so they receive great treatment from the men -- and everyone else -- in their lives).    

Want to know if this program is for you?  Think about these questions:
  • Do the important people in your life respect you, treat you as a precious, adored person, or do they tend to take advantage of you? 
  • Do you accept compliments easily, knowing that you deserve them, or do you deflate them? 
  • Do you receive all the support and help you need, or are you exhausted and struggling? 
  • Do you overdo and over-give, or can you comfortably sit back and receive? 
  • What kinds of thoughts play continually in your mind?  Are they about how happy and excited you are about life, or are they more about worry, anxiety, and all of the things you wish were different?
*The $100-off special price is for purchase by Sunday, April 6, and the only restriction is that the appointment for the coaching call must be scheduled for a date within 30 days of purchase.  If you're interested or have questions, let me know.  I want to make sure that this program would be a great fit for you before you decide to purchase it : ) .

And, please sign up for our elist on this page -- see the sign-up box in the right-hand column.  When you do, the first thing you'll receive is my 5-part free gift, "Prepare to Be Loved," and elist members are the only ones to receive many additional special offers that are really fantastic!  Plus, you get selected blog posts delivered directly to your inbox : )

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Start a love affair. With yourself.

Have you been in the situation where you longed and longed for one of the men in your life to support you, to show he understands what you really need, even to come to the rescue in a major, seemingly unending, struggle?

You keep thinking, as the months go by, "Surely, once he sees how bad a situation this is, he'll comfort me, and show me that his words of love are more than just something to say."

Nothing happens.  No help arrives.  You feel weaker and weaker as you keep on fighting the dragons alone.

None of this is news.  It's part of modern -- so-called -- love.  It might be happening to you right now.

Here's the revelation that came to me in the grocery today.

I want to ask you:  Do you find that you begin to treat yourself worse and worse because of the way he treats (or treated) you?  Do you find that you're punishing yourself for not being able to win his love?

Just as I began to ponder this, a great 1980s song began to play (as I reached for the 32 oz. hot giardiniera).  While I listened to it (and danced around a little bit in the aisle), I thought, "I'm going to start a love affair.  With myself.  And I want all the women of the world to start a love affair with themselves, too."

What if you would do anything, give yourself anything, and love yourself without measure so you could hold on to yourself and the truth and beauty of who you are?  Not lose yourself because someone else doesn't feel you're worth the effort (or his own demons are so strong that he can't even see you).  Not judge yourself against someone else's yardstick and come up lacking, when . . . wait . . . you don't even agree with his system of measurement.

Let's take some of our favorite love songs, and make ourselves both the subject and the object.  Recast the lyrics of any love song so that the "you" is yourself. {tweet this}

Not give up on yourself.  Not sell yourself short.  Not kick yourself when someone turns out to be not the man he kept saying he wanted to be.

No one else truly holds the magical potion.  It's inside of us.  And if it burns brightly enough inside of us, our entire world can see it and love us accordingly.

Here's the song (scroll down for original video).  Sing it to yourself (or comment with a favorite love song of your own):

Emotion In Motion Ric Ocasek I would do anything to hold on to you Just about anything until you pull through I'd hold on to you 'til the stars no longer wink I'd hold on to you 'til you figure out Just what to think, 'cos You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me I would go anywhere to meet up with you Just about anywhere for one rendezvous I'd hold on to you 'til the mountains crumble flat I'd hold on to you 'til you figure out Just where you're at You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me I would do anything to hold on to you Just about anything that you want me to I'd hold on to you 'til you take it all in stride I'd hold on to you 'til you want to stay here By my side You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me

Source: http://lyrics-a-plenty.com/e/emotion_in_motion.lyrics.php
I would do anything
to hold on to you
that's just about anything
until you pull through

I'd hold on to you
'til the stars no longer wink
I'd hold on to you
'til you figure out
just what to think, 'cause

you're emotion in motion
my magical potion
you're emotion in motion
to me

I would go anywhere
to meet up with you
that's just about anywhere
for one rendezvous

I'd hold on to you
until the mountains crumble flat
I'd hold on to you
until the figure out
just where you're at, 'cause

you're emotion in motion
my magical potion
you're emotion in motion
to me

I would do anything
to hold on to you
that's just about anything
that you want me to

I'd hold on to you
until you take it all in stride
I'd hold on to you
'til you want to stay here
by my side, 'cause

you're emotion in motion
my magical potion
you're emotion in motion
to me

otion In Motion Ric Ocasek I would do anything to hold on to you Just about anything until you pull through I'd hold on to you 'til the stars no longer wink I'd hold on to you 'til you figure out Just what to think, 'cos You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me I would go anywhere to meet up with you Just about anywhere for one rendezvous I'd hold on to you 'til the mountains crumble flat I'd hold on to you 'til you figure out Just where you're at You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me I would do anything to hold on to you Just about anything that you want me to I'd hold on to you 'til you take it all in stride I'd hold on to you 'til you want to stay here By my side You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me

Source: http://lyrics-a-plenty.com/e/emotion_in_motion.lyrics.php
Emotion In Motion Ric Ocasek I would do anything to hold on to you Just about anything until you pull through I'd hold on to you 'til the stars no longer wink I'd hold on to you 'til you figure out Just what to think, 'cos You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me I would go anywhere to meet up with you Just about anywhere for one rendezvous I'd hold on to you 'til the mountains crumble flat I'd hold on to you 'til you figure out Just where you're at You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me I would do anything to hold on to you Just about anything that you want me to I'd hold on to you 'til you take it all in stride I'd hold on to you 'til you want to stay here By my side You're emotion in motion My magical potion You're emotion in motion To me

Source: http://lyrics-a-plenty.com/e/emotion_in_motion.lyrics.php

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Are you programmed to resist or receive?

Every week, I unearth and interpret the life stories of more and more divorced women as part of my new Prepare to Be Loved program.  Many patterns have been emerging, and today's post is about one of of the big ones.

Women wonder why they have felt so disrespected, so alone in their most important relationships, "having to hold the world on their shoulders on their own" -- lacking support in the most basic of ways.

A key piece of the puzzle is learning to receive:  to receive love and positive attention, to receive praise and gratitude, to receive the kind of help and support that has been missing for an entire lifetime for many of the woman I work with.

Why do so many of us give until we're empty, and receive so little in return?

Part of the story is that, by giving, by offering, by trying to prove our worth in every moment, we're constantly leaning forward.  When you think about it, this can be a posture of pushing.  In many of our life stories, pushing and constant effort were ingrained at an early age.  If we didn't do it, it wasn't going to get done.

The only positive reinforcement we received was from working hard and picking up the slack for others (often a parent).  Or, a twist on this is that, no matter how hard we tried, the positive love and regard we craved never arrived -- so we just kept trying harder.

So, we went on to marry men who also consistently disappointed us.  We waited for years to see them take action and do their part in the relationship.  When that didn't happen, we stepped in to fill the gap.  Years later, we realize that our partners may have chosen us because they knew that we would step in, and enable them to coast.

We were groomed for that role since childhood.

Learning to receive is about a different posture.  One of sitting back and letting things happen.  Creating space for someone else to step in and act.

As you adopt this new posture, people and things around you begin to change.  You attract people into your life who are comfortable with a balance of giving and taking -- not just taking.

Here's one simple step that will give you a sense of this new shift.

During your day, notice when you lean forward.  Notice when your body starts to contract in tension.  Notice when that tension makes you feel that you should be doing something, that no matter what's going on, it's somehow your job to fix it.

Now consciously, stop leaning forward.  Center yourself on top of your pelvis.  Let your tailbone and lower back relax.  Take several slow, deep breaths, from your navel up to your ribcage and then exhale back down to your core.  Relax and breathe.

It only takes a minute to create a little space for someone else to act.  If someone offers to step in, say yes.  Allow it.  Practice receiving.  Don't resist. Don't say no. {tweet this}

Say yes.  Say yes.  Say yes. {tweet this}

Yes to life.  Yes to kindness.  Let it in.  Change the pattern.  Relax and let in the people who want to share with you, who want to give to you.  They are there, if you sit back, take a deep breath and learn to see them.