Friday, December 26, 2014

So what are you doing New Year's Eve?

Here's my take on New Year's Eve:  Don't put so much pressure on the actual date you celebrate.  You can have so much more fun if you ignore Dec. 31 itself.

I'm celebrating it on Dec. 27 and Dec. 28!

I really don't want to be in the middle of all the craziness on Dec. 31, and I'm not so enamored of any of the current men in my life (none of them is "the one") to undergo all the pressure that comes with being someone's date for New Year's Eve.  (More on my dating philosophy in my Prepare to Be Loved program, and blog posts in the new year.)

So, I have two super-fun events coming up for the weekend after Christmas.  On Saturday, Dec. 27, I'm meeting some of my best women friends in the world (and they're also my ready-to-party aunt, cousin, and two ex-wives of my brothers -- the mothers of my nieces and nephews).  We'll be going out for margaritas and Mexican food, and out for line dancing after that.  And, probably sleeping it off at my aunt's house.  I love these women, and can't wait!

On Sunday, Dec. 28, it's the December meeting of the women's wine-tasting group I'm a part of, and we'll be meeting at the beautiful home of one of the members, with the theme of Winter Wines . . . (and celebrating my birthday, which was Dec. 24).

I find that it's so much easier to schedule wonderful time with women friends (both married, divorced, and single) when you do it between Christmas and New Year's -- so that's what I do!

These two events will be the highlight of my holiday season.  I find Christmas with the family just a little depressing and stressful, since there's hardly anything on which we see eye to eye.  Yet, they're family, and I do it.

So what should you do on the dread New Year's Eve itself?  If your kids are with you, order pizza, watch some movies and make noise at midnight.

If you're on your own?  Indulge yourself in any way that feels good to you -- especially by doing things that your ex didn't like or didn't approve of.

Of course, you can use this time to take a look at your year in review and decide how to make the new year different.  I show you exactly how to do this here.

But, for many of you, it's a much happier idea just to let it all go, and get to bed before midnight.  By the time you awaken, a beautiful new year will be here!

Before you turn in, you can make a little ritual of kissing the old year goodbye, or maybe exorcizing it from your life with a few rounds of lion's breath -- open your mouth wide, extend your tongue, and forcefully exhale everything that brought you to your knees in the past year.

You can take a cleansing bath or shower during which you symbolically wash away every disappointment, regret, and fear, and call in everything you want to be part of your life in 2015.  Use a wonderful scent that makes you feel protected, calm, and strong.  Whatever scent you like is a good one for you!

2015.  It's your year to make of it whatever you will.  Make a resolve that no one else will hijack your beautiful life for their own purposes.  I want to propose a new definition of selfishness.  It means that you are full of yourself, full of the person who you were always meant to be.  An example of beauty, strength, and happiness, who draws like-minded people to you.

I'm wishing you the very happiest new year ever!


Friday, December 19, 2014

The problem with gratitude.

Feeling more attitude than gratitude?

As you read all sorts of advice to feel grateful for what you do have rather than angry and grief-stricken about your divorce, you may be feeling frustrated.

You sit there with your journal, listing ten things a day for which you are grateful, but in the pit of your stomach, this doesn't make you feel any better.  It just makes you feel exhausted.

If one more person tells you that, no matter how bad things may seem in your life, that you're still better off than 99% of the world's population, you secretly want to smack her.

What you don't dare tell anyone is that this is how you really feel:  "It's so unfair.  Can't anyone focus on me for a while?  I'm soooo tired of being strong and handling all this on my own.

"Isn't there anyone here for me, someone who really cares about what I'm going through?  Isn't there anyone who is concerned about me and wants to comfort me?  Even just a little?"

It can feel so shameful to be thinking these kinds of thoughts.  But sometimes, you can't help it, when you're running way past empty trying to care for everyone else.  In fact, you've been doing it for so long that no one even thinks about what you might need anymore.  Maybe no one ever really thought about what you needed even before your marriage blew up.

So, here's what I suggest.

1.  Stop trying to be grateful.  Just stop.  Instead of writing that gratitude list, start writing a "putting myself first" list.  Replace the gratitude list with at least 3 or 5 things each day that you can do for yourself to make your day a little easier and happier.  (Hint:  A great list-starter is to think of things that you wish your ex had done for you, and start to give those acts of kindness to yourself.)

2.  Let it all out.  You need to get those feelings out of the tissues of your body, where they hide out and make you feel awful in a physical, tangible way.  Have a moment alone at home?  Bury your face in a pillow and cry your eyes out.  Get it all out.  Or drive your car someplace private and scream your heart out. Swear at your ex to your heart's content.  Or just collapse into a fetal position and cry like a baby.  You can't just bury these emotions under a facade of everything being okay.  (Trust me, I tried.)  And these really strong, scary emotions might not be ones that you want to reveal to your friends or your children.  You might decide to schedule a weekly date alone in your car to purge all those horrible feelings that make you sick to your stomach.  You'll know when you're done with this step.  While you're working on this step, find a confidante (see step 3).

3.  Find someone who will listen to you, and not judge you.  I don't mean that this person listens to you vent in a highly emotional manner for hours on end (that's what your car or pillow is for).  But, you do want someone who will listen and empathize.  A person who has also been through a bad breakup or divorce is an excellent choice.  You don't want them to join you in vilifying your spouse.  You don't want them to fan the flames of your hurt and anger.  You just want them to listen and actually care.  Give you a hug and hold your hand.  Baby you a little bit.  You can set a time limit so that you don't wear down your friend or family member.  Because you may need to confide in this person again and again.  It's not just a one-time thing.  And, yes, you can do it on the phone, but it's very nurturing to be sitting on the couch with someone who cares and can hold your hand.

4.  Decide when you will speak of it no more.  Do allow yourself to get it all out.  But once you hear yourself repeating for the 15th time the same sad story, you know that you're ready to speak of it no more.  Continuing to speak of it keeps it alive and keeps you hurting.  You'll know when the time is right to promise yourself that you will not tell the sad, sad story again.  When you need to refer to your divorce, you can summarize it in a few calm, descriptive sentences -- but no longer allow yourself to go back into all the raw emotions.  By doing so, you keep those emotions alive.

5.  Increase your self-love and self-care even more.  You've been writing a daily self-love list (step 1).  Now's the time to draw from the list and start showing yourself how important you are -- to yourself.  It's the first step in becoming truly important and valuable in the eyes of someone else.

Want more about this?  You can contact me at rosetta@thedynamicdivorcee.com.


Friday, December 12, 2014

8 Secrets to Wake Up Feeling Great

What are the toughest times of day for you as you begin life post-divorce?

Most of my clients say that the worst times in each day are often bedtime and first thing in the morning.

Because morning is so crucial to having a successful and happy day, I wanted to share some of my strategies for getting out of bed in the morning with a smile on your face.

These are some of the real-life habits I developed back when I felt my life was over, and I was engulfed in grief and remorse 24/7.  For me, mornings were actually worse than evenings because I found that I had the greatest number of negative thoughts as I lay in bed in those first waking moments before arising.

Maybe you feel the same.

Want to feel happy and hopeful every morning rather than full of dread?  You can, and all it takes is about 30 minutes of preparation, one time only.

So, here are the questions you're going to ask yourself to prepare for creating a happy morning.  Can you list at least 3 responses to each of the questions below?  Five responses or more are even better!

The questions:
1.  What do you like best about mornings (even if you're not a morning person)?

2.  What activity do you super love love love that you're hardly ever able to fit into your day (maybe you just wish you could read a fascinating book for a few minutes)?

3.  What completely new at-home activity have you been meaning to try for years, but never got around to it (a craft, a recipe, a beauty treatment, bonsai, explore your feminine sexuality . . . )?

4.  What totally silly physical activity are you way too depressed to even think about doing right now, but some part of you smiles to think of how crazy it would be to jump out of bed in the morning and do it?  (Think jumping around with earphones while listening to your favorite high school party song -- on one hand, no way, you feel way too awful to do that, but you've been feeling awful for so long that you're ready to try any fool thing in order to feel better.)

Okay.  Have you answered the four questions above?  You now have a little list of items for each of the four questions.  Now, you are ready to create a magical start to your day that will powerfully shift those dreadful morning mental and emotional states.

Just one more pre-planning step:  Circle all of the possible activities that take 15 minutes or fewer to perform.  Or, see how you could break some of those activities into baby steps, and fit something fun into about 15 minutes.

Preparation:  
1.  For your first try at this, decide to set your alarm 30 minutes earlier than you usually do.  (Get to bed a little bit early if necessary.  It's really worth a try!)

2.  Set your alarm to a favorite, uplifting song, and not a buzz-tone from your alarm clock or phone.  Make the song something that has a lot of girl-power to it.  (And definitely nothing that reminds you, in any way, of your ex-husband, or any ex for that matter!)  Are you thinking, "I have *no* idea what kind of music I'd like to wake up to"?  Check out this girl power playlist from Pop Sugar (that has many of my own favorites).

3.  On your nightstand, or next to your pillow, scribble a little note of your wake-up activity for the following day.  (You pick two responses from the four questions above.  For example, if you love to see the sunrise, then check out tomorrow's sunrise time, rise five minutes before sunrise, go outside, and see it.  Or, if the sunrise is not visible from your house, pull up one of my favorite sunrise videos on your phone.)

4.  Just choose two things from any of the four questions above and have them ready to go.  If you're going to dance it out for three minutes, have your song cued up.  If you're going to read a few pages of a book you've been dying to dive into, have the book in bed with you.  If you're going to try that relaxing facial mask, throw the ingredients together the night before.  Here are some great recipes.  Make it a gift to yourself to have whatever it is prepared the night before.  You'll feel as if someone is really taking care of you.  And, it's true.  That person is you!  Being able to lavish attention on yourself is one of my 4 Signature Steps to Divorce Recovery, so keep it simple, but know that preparing your tomorrow is a key way to love yourself up!

And, it's morning:
5.  Alarm goes off (with cool, inspiring song).  Do the first activity on your note-to-self next to your bed.  Do it, even though for the first 30 to 60 seconds you are groaning, your eyes are rolling, and you do. not. feel. like. it.

6.  Check in with yourself.  How do you feel?  If you feel great, then ignore activity #2 and move ahead with your day.  Yay!  If you're still feeling like a very sad grumpasaurus, move on to activity #2.  Yes, I know, you still may not feel like doing it at all.  But it's just 15 minutes more (or maybe fewer).  By the time you finish that one, there's a 99% chance that you are set up for a happier day.  Don't you want to find out if that promise is true?  Then try activity #2 on your note-to-self.

7.  If you do this for a week, swapping out various activities from your list, you'll find out which ones really make you feel wonderful.  Keep those on your "magic mornings" list, but also add new stuff you'd like to try to your list.  And, please let me know how it goes!

Mwah!

.8.  Bonus goofiness.  I dare you to try this one:  Before you get out of bed, pretend you're a beautiful, powerful, in-demand diva (because, you are, but you might not know it yet).  Say aloud five times, "I am a goddess, and I now create my day!"  If this sounds totally preposterous, at least you'll laugh before your feet hit the floor.

Friday, December 5, 2014

What would you change? It's all written on your face.

What would you like to change about your past life when you look back 10 years?  What about looking back 20 years ago in your life?

And, more importantly, if you could see into the future, what would you be so shocked to see that you would make changes immediately to avoid that outcome?

Since it's December, it's natural to think about Charles Dickens' 1843 novella A Christmas Carol, in which the miserable Ebenezer Scrooge has the opportunity to revisit his past, gain insight into his present, and glimpse an unsavory end.

But, what if the average woman could see into the future?

My thoughts about this began as I read a wonderful article by Susan Minot about photographer Nicholas Nixon's 40-year (and counting) project of taking an annual photograph of his wife and her three sisters.  You can read the article and see all of the portraits here.

I couldn't help but wonder about the life stories of these four women as I saw their expressions and body language change from year to year.  I wondered whether, if they could have seen the 2014 portrait way bacn in 1975, they would have done anything differently.  Would they have been shocked?  Would they have been proud of the strength that shows in their faces, or would they think, "My god, I must have lived a hard life!"  Or perhaps they might feel a little bit of both emotions, and many more emotions in between.


Watching this video started me thinking:


What if you could have a time-lapse, four-minute encapsulation of your life -- see yourself 40 years from now?  In your face, you would be able to read so many things:  the struggle, the disappointment, the roads not taken.  Or, perhaps joy, the process of aging in contentment, with a satisfied heart and peaceful mind.

The thing is:  We can do this without the time travel!  Imagine:  If life continues as is, what face will greet you in the mirror in 40 years?  We can live each day for a better outcome now.  (And enjoy each day along the way, in the process.)  A sort of Picture of Dorian Gray in reverse.  Every day, we can become stronger and more beautiful.  It is a choice -- but it takes mindfulness, and sometimes it takes minute-by-minute shifts from habitual patterns of thinking.

Passionate desires and a picture of your life as you want it to be really help and make the practice of mindfulness fun.
I am choosing as my mantra for 2015 this quote:  I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change.  I am changing the things I cannot accept.
Divorce is the wake-up call to give each of us valuable clues about what we've been missing in the past, and how we'd like to change it.  And, this is just the time of year to consider how to make this happen, using fun and self-nourishing ideas to give birth to your life as you want it to be.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Today is the day! The Holiday Blues-Busting Challenge is live!

Just a brief note to let everyone know that, as of today, registration is open for The Dynamic Divorcee Holiday Blues-Busting Challenge.

Read all about it here.

You will be amazed at the amount of support that you receive at a really crazy low price (so that everyone can afford to join us).

I'm so excited to be able to work with a small group of women as we recreate our lives exactly as we want them to be -- and this is the best time of year for a wonderful transformation!

See you here.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Here's how to turn the blues into a blueprint.

It's almost time to unveil The Dynamic Divorcee 30-Day Holiday Blues Busting Challenge.  That's a mouthful!

In this blog, I talk about the part of the program that has been the most intriguing to everyone:  How to turn the blues into a blueprint for the new year.

It doesn't require any special equipment; just some paper and a pen -- as I'll show you here:


What you can expect if you complete the 30 days:

  • You can expect to have fun during the holiday season and minimize the sadness, regret, shame, and guilt.
  • You can expect to find out more about yourself than you have ever known before -- and it's all good!
  • You can expect to try as many new things as you feel like exploring, and create some new traditions along the way.
  • You can expect to reconnect with people who make you feel good, and meet a few new people to add to your circle in the new year.
  • You can expect to learn ways to care for yourself, with love, as never before.
  • You can expect to find ways to enjoy the pleasure of your own company, and no longer fear times of being on your own.
  • And, you can expect to finish the Challenge, with a fun and totally doable life plan for the new year, choosing areas where you want to see positive change in your life and then conducting mini-experiments to find out the quickest and most painless ways to your goals.
  • Yes, you can have all of the above!  I know, because I have done it, and now I want to share it with you.
30-Day Challenge goes live on Black Friday
I've put together a little gift for you here -- and it outlines the 5 steps we'll be having fun with in the challenge.

And you can learn more about The Dynamic Divorcee 30-Day Holiday Blues-Busting Challenge when we open enrollment on Black Friday, Nov. 28.

But, for now, we just want to say that it's a guided program with lots of support that includes a 40-page ebook program guide, five 20-minute audio guided lessons with fun exercises to help you open up to self-nurturing as well as learning to identify and reach out only to those who make you feel good.  And you'll learn to minimize the impact of those who don't!

The whole process is kept as simple (deceptively simple) as possible.  This is not psychoanalysis.  You will not be delving into painful memories.  You will not be reliving experiences that you would prefer to forget.

And, we keep adding fun extras to the program, like a private facebook group, an interactive Pinterest board, and we still have a couple of unannounced special gifts up our sleeves.  And something really special for the first ten women to join the Challenge.

People keep wondering what the program will cost.  The answer is waaaay under $100, and the sooner you decide to join, the more affordable the experience will be!

In the meantime, before we roll everything out on Friday, please get your 5 Surprising Blues Cures here

Have a question or comment?  Let me know below.  And, see you on Black Friday!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Want to know your #1 response to our holiday blues survey?


Big thanks to everyone who has contributed responses to our Post-Divorce Holiday Blues-Busting Survey.

I thought you might like to know what women are most interested in when it comes to support over the holiday season.

I really love the way it's turning out -- because, based on your responses, you are very willing to learn to take time out for yourselves and are enthusiastic about using time this season to plan for a happier 2015!

So far, every single respondent to our survey wants:
1) a step-by-step process to help them use the holiday season to come up with a plan to totally transform their 2015.  Or, as I like to say, to "turn the blues into a blueprint."

Then, two desires tied for second place:
2)  strategies to deal with loneliness during the season and to learn ways to nurture themselves this time of year instead of being overcome by stress and others' expectations.

By the way, if you'd still like to respond, there's time to add your opinions to the mix.  Here's the survey, and I'd love to hear from you.  I'm personally reading every response.

So, how do you turn the blues into a blueprint, anyway?
The blueprint comes as the last step in our 5 *Very* Surprising Cures for the Post-Divorce Holiday Blues, and here's why.  The whole 5-step process takes you through a journey of honoring yourself, and experiencing what it's like to put yourself first so that you can give out of your own abundance and not out of your own exhaustion and sadness.

You might have noticed that giving what you don't have to give never quite works as well as you'd like it to.  Well, let's be honest.  It never really works at all.

Maybe you've already been living your entire life that way, but now the warning lights are flashing and sirens are going off because -- after having gone through the entire divorce process, and having lost so much of everything that meant most to you -- it feels impossible to keep putting a good face on it, and sacrificing even more heavily than you've done before.

So, the blueprint is the fourth of the five steps in my program.  You do it after you've taken specific (and fun) steps to remember who you are (or who you always meant to be), see exactly how you can scale back and remake the holiday season in a way that's fun for you, and even give yourself gifts (don't worry, you get to stay within your budget!).

I want you to have so much fun before you sit down to create your blueprint -- using nothing more than a journal, a pen, and maybe some fun art supplies.  The blueprint is fun, not work.  It's not about scheduling, outlines, flow charts . . . .    In other words, it bears no resemblance to the drudgery you usually do every day.

It's all about dreaming your life, the way you want it to be.  Not just where you want to be in your work, family, and financial lives, but how you want to feel every day.  Realizing that how you feel is the key to what makes life beautiful.  And, it's the key to what will allow your life to change in the ways you want it to.

Click here for more about how to work all 5 steps.
Want to know more about all 5 steps?
I've put together a little gift that outlines the program I used myself last year (and that many of my clients used, too).  For some of you, this may be all you need, but we are going to be offering so much more!

You can learn more about The Dynamic Divorcee 30-Day Holiday Blues-Busting Challenge when we open enrollment on Black Friday, Nov. 28.

But, for now, we just want to say that it's a guided program with lots of support that includes a 40-page ebook program guide, five 20-minute audio guided lessons with fun exercises to help you open up to self-nurturing as well as learning to identify and reach out only to those who make you feel good.  And you'll learn to minimize the impact of those who don't!

The whole process is kept as simple (deceptively simple) as possible.  This is not psychoanalysis.  You will not be delving into painful memories.  You will not be reliving experiences that you would prefer to forget.

And, we keep adding fun extras to the program.  We've already mentioned the private Facebook support group, and I've just created a fun Pinterest board that all Challenge participants will be able to add pins to -- so that we can all share resources, and anything else that's fun, with each other.  Since it's a brand new board, there are only eight pins on it now, but I'll be adding to it until we all get there.

In the meantime, please get your 5 Surprising Blues Cures here.

Coming on Wednesday . . .
I'm going to share exactly how I turned the blues into a blueprint myself, and how that worked for me throughout the entire year.  Because of my Blueprint, I had the most wonderfully life-changing year ever, and I'm so much more on-track to the life of my dreams than ever before.

But more on that later . . .






Friday, November 21, 2014

5 Very Surprising Cures for the Holiday Blues


Maybe this doesn't look much like a
holiday-season image, but it's
how I felt the first Christmas season
after my divorce.
During my separation, divorce, and for years following the divorce, the holiday season was just an awful time for me.

The agony started right after Halloween, as Christmas decorations started to appear in stores, and Christmas music began to blast everywhere I went.

I truly came to understand the expression "gut-wrenching."  I felt physically ill, and had to resort to deep breathing and sunglasses to camouflage the tears.

I'd talk to myself, silently (and sometimes not so silently) in public.  I'd say to myself, "It's okay, it's okay,hang in there.  Breathe.  Thank god for sunglasses:  No one can see you crying.  Just hang in there a few more minutes.  You'll be back in the car soon and then you can let it all out . . . ."

Somehow, the season would have me rehashing all sorts of old memories:
What I should have done, how I should have known better, what I did right, what I couldn't possibly have known . . . on and on and on.

I'd reminisce about my lying, cheating ex.  But in my memories, I couldn't remember all those horrible things he'd done.  I remembered shopping for the Christmas tree together, putting up decorations, making our own mix CDs of Christmas songs.

And the holidays post-divorce back then?  Showing up to family celebrations alone.  Knowing that many in my family blamed me for divorcing him.  Knowing that my parents believed that no matter how badly I was treated, it was the woman's job to sacrifice herself and endure.  (Yes, even now that it's the 21st century.)  Somehow, it was never the man's fault.

And I wondered:  What were the odds I could ever be happy again?
What were the chances that I'd ever end up with someone better?  It was frightening just to think about it.  I couldn't imagine year after year of holiday seasons and special occasions pasting on a smile and feeling dead inside.

No one had an answer for me.  There was simply no cure.  Oh, yeah, the five stages of grief.  Talk therapy that just made everything worse.  Telling me that it was going to take a long time to feel better and that there were no short-cuts.  The whole thing felt like a death sentence.  A heart and soul death sentence.  Made me feel as though I wasn't anything anymore.  At least not anything or anyone I wanted to be.

When would this get better?  And how would I survive this miserable holiday season?  I wanted to go to sleep until it was over.

Of course, it did get better.  Some of you know about the system I developed to speed my own recovery because it was simply unacceptable to me that after my ex-husband had already taken 15 years of my precious life I was going to have to suffer for additional years to get over the shock of the divorce.

But what you don't know about, yet, is that I needed something special to get through the holidays.
I asked myself: "What would I have to create that could take the focus off the memories, the disappointment, the betrayal, and the shock, and turn this season into something completely new that could get me excited and pumped up again?"

So . . . last year, I created a home-study program called "5 Very Surprising Cures for the Holiday Blues: Turn the Blues into a Blueprint."  It's a way to minimize the parts of the holiday season that send you back to dark places where you don't want to be.  And it's a way to put yourself back in charge of how you spend the holidays.  That in itself is pretty great, because the program coaches you, step-by-step, in creating activities that will support you, and that you really love.

But, there's much more to the program than just that.  It also gives you the opportunity (if you choose), to use this end-of-year time to completely create your vision for 2015, exactly the way you want it to be.  You don't have to revisit the past.  Instead, the process is easy, exciting, and fun.  (And, because so many women have told me, this year, that they're hurting and can't afford anything for themselves, I'm offering the program for a tiny fraction of last year's price -- this year, the complete program is just $6.97.  However, you don't have to pay a cent in order to get a generous preview of the program for free.)

If you're someone who's dreading the month of December, why not make it a season of discovery and joy instead?
Get my top 5 strategies when you
click here.
I would love to offer you a generous free taste of the program, in the form of my Top 5 Strategies to Beat the Holiday Blues.  
Trust me, they're not the "stages of grief" or "take a  bubble bath" tips you'll hear elsewhere at this time of year.  To get them, just click here to allow me to send them to you.

I call them my five "blues cures," and you can find out just what I did to heal and use the holiday season as a time to plan the new year the way *I* wanted it to be.  And it works!

Plus, you'll have a happier holiday season planned with things *you* want to do, instead of feeling picked apart by everyone else in your life and what they want from you.

Please check out a generous sample of the program by allowing us to send it to you.  You'll get instant access to my Top 5 Very Surprising Cures for the Holiday Blues.

Friday, November 14, 2014

10 ways to rock a dreary Monday

This time of year, in the Northern Hemisphere, mornings are dark and dreary, and Mondays can be the biggest challenge. Especially when you're already feeling low energy and depleted from all the changes that divorce brings.

Here are my top ten strategies to make going back to work on Mondays a happier and more rewarding experience.

Get a head start that sets you up for the whole week:
1. Have a warm and nourishing crock pot meal ready to simmer for Monday night dinner, so it's effortless when you get home. Have everything in the crock pot, in the fridge on Sunday night, so all you have to do is take the pot out of the fridge, set it into the heating element, and turn it on.

2. Get your wardrobe in order for the entire week in advance. Pull out five outfits, with all lingerie and accessories already placed on the hanger for each day. You can use this process to weed out your closet, too. As you try on clothing items, if they're too worn, don't fit right, or don't make you feel good, put them right into the donation bag for the thrift store, not back in your closet. This process will take just one hour once a week, and you'll enjoy more variety in your workplace attire instead of relying on the same outfit or two over and over. When you look good, you feel good -- and you'll be more relaxed when you don't have to make a clothing decision each and every day.

3. Get all your weekday lunches sorted in advance, too.  If you make a crock pot dish over the weekend, you can put individual portions in the refrigerator or freezer for your lunches during the week. Make sure you have individual-size yogurts or other favorite healthy snack items so that you have your lunches preplanned.

4. Get to bed on time so that you have plenty of rest.  Start to wind down about an hour before bedtime. Turn off the television and step away from your computer and phone.  Try a little yoga for relaxation, 20 minutes with a good book full of self-nurturing thoughts, and a small glass of red wine or a nice warm cup of herbal tea. Just after you turn out the lights, prayerfully release all stresses and worries, knowing that getting a good night's sleep is the best thing you can do for your future.

Feeling good from the start:
5. Create a Monday morning wake-up ritual that you love. Set your phone alarm to wake you up to a favorite song, have a special treat ready for breakfast, have an inspiring audio book ready to play on your commute. The basic idea is to make morning as cozy and luxurious as possible. No chaos, no rushing, no tension.

6. Just before you start work, do a quick week-starting ritual that sets you up for the day. Here's a suggestion: Center yourself with a few slow, deep breaths, and write your personal intention for the day on a post-it note, keeping it where you can see it during your workday

7. Keep a few fun rewards in view as the day progresses: A delicious lunch that you're looking forward to eating, a mid-afternoon treat of some kind, and definitely something fun to look forward to after work.  More on this below, under "reward yourself for your magnificence."

8. How about a 10-minute late lunchtime nap at your desk while listening to soothing music or a motivational .mp3? Go to youtube.com and search for the emotion you want to feel, such as confidence, relaxation, or abundance.

9. Preschedule a mid-afternoon break that is truly a break.  Walk away from your desk.  Talk to someone you like.  Connect, even for just a few minutes, with an activity you love.  Make your break something that you really look forward to.  Can you work from a cafe for an hour in the afternoon?  Can you take a brisk walk for a few minutes outdoors?  A change of locale can really help.

Reward yourself for your magnificence:
10. Reward yourself with something special after Monday's workday is done:   Have a few videos queued up that you can't wait to watch (allow yourself to veg a little; it's Monday).  You've already arranged for dinner -- it's in the crock pot, so all you need is a bag of mixed greens and some salad dressing -- so there's no dinner to prepare.  Unsure how to reward yourself?  I'm always in favor of having a 25 Little Luxuries List handy, so you can always quickly choose a treat for yourself . . .

Steps to make this happen:
Before the weekend (total time is about 3 hours, and most of this research is reusable):
  • Come up with some yummy, quick recipes for lunches and Monday night dinner. Try epicurious.com or just search "quick lunches for work" and "crock pot meals" on Pinterest for lots of fun ideas. (Don't own a crock pot? You can buy one for less than $30.) 
  • Shop before the weekend (when the grocery is less-crowded) or have your groceries delivered
  • Make a playlist of music that inspires you. You can use this list to wake up to a different song every morning, and have some tracks to enjoy as you dance your way to getting ready for work. Everyone needs at least a few favorite songs on her phone! 
On Saturday or Sunday (total time is about 3 hours, and it gives you a much, much more relaxed week):
  • Arrange your outfits for the entire workweek (with all accessories on the hangers). Once you do this the first time, every week it will be easier (and it will make you feel so fresh and ready for anything). 
  • Cook a couple of dishes for weekday lunches, and pack individual portions in the fridge. 
  •  Have your crock pot meal ready to plug in on Monday morning. 
On Sunday night:
  • Shower and wash your hair to streamline preparations on Monday morning.  
  • You've already pre-planned so well that your Sunday night can be very relaxing, so savor the satisfaction of having a wonderful strategy for a painless (and, dare I say, fun) start to your workweek. 
Have your own tips to feel happy about Mondays?  Please share in the comments below!

Friday, November 7, 2014

25 little luxuries: why every divorcee needs this list

One of the things I often like to work on with my Dynamic Divorcee clients is getting them to remember the things they used to love and enjoy before marriage, and priming the pump so that a flow of desires can start to burst forth.

These desires are the things a happy life is made of.  Yet, it has been years (and sometimes decades) since many of my clients have dared to dream and desire.  Does that sound like you?

If so, I think you'll like today's challenge.  It's your 25 Little Luxuries List, and it's all about those little things in life that make it fun to wake up in the morning.

But, first, you have to get a handle on what constitutes a luxury, to you.

For some women, a pretty teacup would be a luxury to have and enjoy.  It would make them feel indulged every morning.  Other women would scratch their heads at this -- they already own several sets of beautiful bone china, and don't think twice about what conveys their cup of coffee to their lips.

For some, just an hour to themselves to sit still, look out a window, and daydream would be an amazing luxury that they hardly ever allow themselves.

For others, it would be a massage or a manicure:  a huge luxury in which they, perhaps, have never indulged.

How about permission to take 30 minutes to pop in a yoga DVD?  Luxury, or not?

Maybe a luxury for you would be taking a walk in an indoor conservatory and breathing in the lovely aroma of the plant life and humid air.  Maybe it would be giving yourself a few hours with friends when your life is perpetually busy with obligations to work and children.  Maybe you just want to go out to the movie you want to see rather than compromising on the film with a friend or your kids.  And you want to go out to the movies, rather than renting it online.

So, for this list, you're looking for those tiny, little luxuries that are just at the edges of your comfort zone, but that would not be so much of a leap that you feel guilty about daring to enjoy them.

Let's start nice and easy, and once you become accustomed to enjoying items from your list, you can push the envelope to include more daring luxury items.  (Won't that be fun!)

Let's do it!
Grab a piece of paper or get to your keyboard.  Set the timer on your phone to two minutes, and write without thinking or editing whatever little luxuries and desires come out of your fingers.  Some wild and crazy desires may come out -- write them down, too.  When your timer dings, you can either stop or continue, if you're on a roll.

Before bed today, you'll set your timer for two minutes again and continue.  You'll keep doing the process a few times, if necessary, until you have a list of at least 25 little luxuries that are within your budget and you can totally see yourself doing.

Before you put your list aside, make sure that you have at least 10 items on the list that can be done at home, without having to make any special arrangements or do any appointment-making or scheduling.  If you don't have at least ten stay-at-home items, set your timer again, and start adding some additional delicious-to-you items for your list.

So . . . what do you do with this list?  Start by giving yourself one of your items/activities every time you want to reward yourself.  Did you make yourself proud today by communicating with your ex without letting him push your buttons?  Reward yourself.  Having trouble pushing through to accomplish that irksome home project?  Motivate yourself with a reward when you finish.

A big, big part of feeling great again is reclaiming the beauty and magnificence of who you are, and you can't do that from a place of self-deprivation, where every day takes on a grey sameness.  Bring back the color.  Bring back the light.  Make your list!

I'd love to hear what's on your personal luxuries list.  Please share your top five and how the process works for you.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Hallowe'en: What costumes and the dead can teach you about life


Getting in touch with your roots at Hallowe'en

Do you have the opportunity to dress in costume this Hallowe'en -- as you distribute candy to trick or treaters, or  attend a party?

It's the perfect time to play a role that can put you in touch with hidden parts of yourself that you'd like to explore.

What part of you did your ex-husband try to bury?  What parts of you did he disapprove of?  Were there things you always wanted to try that your family of origin forbade?

Try out that fantasy career for an evening.  Wonder what it would be like to be a movie star or a princess?  Do you have a hero?  This Hallowe'en you can walk in her or her shoes.

Take this chance to have fun while doing some serious soul searching through role play.  It's not just for kids, you know.


And, it's not just about the costumes.

It's about your ancestors
Hallowe'en, or holy evening, has a long history in Europe, and similar days of ancestor veneration take place in late summer to mid-autumn throughout the world.

Traditionally, this was not only an occasion to pray for the repose of the souls of departed ancestors, but to ask for their help, wisdom, and advice in the daily affairs of the living.

This blog post is the first in a series that will suggest ways to use the key holidays of the fall and winter season in order to build your strength and connection to the best of your roots and life experiences, while planning a brilliant entrance into the new year.  So, look for another installment of this series near Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.

Hallowe'en is considered to be the time when the spirits of the dead are closest to Earth, and when our prayers for them can be heard and when we can also ask for their assistance as well.

Even if you don't believe that life, in some form, continues after death, it can strengthen you to remember favorite ancestors, meditate on them, and think how they would advise you when it comes to challenges that you're facing now.

WWGD?  (What would Grandma do?)
As you think back about your female ancestors -- your mom, your aunts, your grandmothers, and your great-grandmothers -- what would they advise you today?

What were their victories in life?  What were their areas of suffering?  What would they like you to do differently so that you can live a happier more fulfilled life than some of them may have had?  How would they advise and encourage you based on the wisdom that they accrued in life?

Are there male ancestors whom you revere?  What would they advise you about your relationships with men?  Would they take your hand and tell you to stop being a pushover?  Or, would they suggest that you tone down anger and attitude and try to show more patience and understanding?

Do you have successful, street-smart, savvy ancestors who could give you spot-on career advice?  What would they say?

Consider taking a little time to sit quietly on Hallowe'en with a journal in your lap, and meditate on those ancestors who are particularly dear to you.  Ask for their guidance, and be ready to write down any insights that come.

And, don't forget to play a little dress up this season -- it may help you to get in touch with some lost parts of yourself that you want back!

Friday, October 24, 2014

Making it safe to feel again

Dr. Brené Brown
Today's post is about the work of Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work -- and the presenter of one of the top 10 most watched Ted talks of all time.

In fact, I'm going to link to all three of her Ted talks (plus a subsequent appearance, post stardom, on Oprah's OWN Network), and hope that you decide to watch them all.

Brown's subject is shame and vulnerability.  Not particularly sexy topics.  Not something you'd think would go viral.  Yet it has.

Shame?  Not my problem.
So, if you're thinking, "Shame?  Not my problem," read on because if feel that your life has recently blown up in your face, chances are that part of the backstory is shame. 

Exactly what is shame, anyway?  According to Brown, it's feelings of "I'm not _____________ enough" (good enough, perfect enough, extraordinary enough), and if these feelings don't change, then your life experiences are likely to prove you right.  (That's my assessment, not Brown's, but stay with me for a moment.)

Brown posits that the one thing that completely unravels connection to others (family, friends, and romantic partners) is shame.  And she draws a distinction between shame and guilt.

Guilt says, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake."
Shame says, "I'm sorry, I am a mistake."

The sense of being inherently flawed in some way "makes it nearly impossible to allow oneself to be vulnerable, and without vulnerability, there is no way to experience deep connection," says Brown.

It's an inside job.
Not only this but, 99% of the time, it's not the outside world that tells us we're inherently flawed.  Insidiously, it's an inside job.  We're the ones who give ourselves shaming internal messages.

But our culture does play a role as well, when it casts vulnerability as weakness.  According to Brown, fear of being out of control of our lives means that:
  • Joy becomes foreboding.  (We want to beat tragedy to the punch.)
  • We don't get excited because we're afraid the thing we're looking forward to won't happen.   It is easier to live a life where the default emotion is disappointment rather than to hope and be disappointed.
  • We use perfection as a shield.  (If I have an absolutely perfect, uncrackable exterior, no one can get me.)
  • We stay so perpetually busy that the sad truth of our lives and its emptiness can't catch up with us. 

Brown found, through 12 years of research on this subject, that there was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging from those who don't.  Those who feel they belong believe they're worthy of love and belonging.  Brown's research also shows that shame is directly correlated with depression, addiction, and anger issues.


Vampire in daylight
Brown offers a bunch of suggestions on how to move from shame to worthiness.  Here are a few that I felt were worth repeating:
  • Have the courage to be imperfect.  Be willing to let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are.  (My addition to this thought:  It takes so much time and effort to create and maintain the facade of perfection that there's not much time for anything else -- like relaxation, pleasure, or joy.)
  • Be kind to yourself first, and then be kind to others.  (I say:  Convince yourself of your inherent worth by treating yourself as if you're worthy and valuable.  It's a process.  The more you do it, the more you'll believe it.)
  • Embrace vulnerability.  Come to believe that your imperfections and vulnerability are what make you beautiful.  Brown gives a few examples of vulnerability:  the willingness to say I love you first, the willingness to do something that offers no guarantee, the willingness to breathe through uncomfortable situations. 
  • My take:  Especially after divorce, we try to protect ourselves and shield ourselves from further trauma, but part of recovery is accepting that, no matter what we do, we are vulnerable.  So let's unlink vulnerability = tragedy.  You've just survived one of life's worst events.  You survived it!  You're still here!  And, if you've learned and become wiser from the experience, you can protect yourself through wiser choices.  So you don't have to protect yourself by shutting down.
  • Brown says that shame grows through secrecy, silence, and judgment.  The objective is not to be perfect and bullet-proof.  I say:  Practice sharing with a friend the emotions or experiences that you feel are too shameful to express.  Let the shameful feelings see the light of day.  Just like a vampire in daylight, you can see these painful emotions lose their hold on you.
Watch Brown's talks to hear lots more about this -- including the confessions of her own panic attacks and emotional breakdowns.  And how her own from-the-stage confessions didn't destroy her career as she had feared, but blasted her into bestselling-author, Oprah-guesting stardom.

Here's her TedX talk (Kansas City) on "The price of vulnerability":


Here's her subsequent TedX talk (Houston) on "The power of vulnerability":



And, here's her Ted talk (Long Beach) two years later, in which she gets vulnerable herself about how she feared her Houston Ted talk would destroy her academic career:



And, finally, the no-longer-playing-small, newly glamorous Dr. Brown appears on Oprah in 2013:
 






Friday, October 17, 2014

Go meet some facebook friends (especially the ones you don't even know)

Awhile ago, I happened upon the blog of author ArLynn Presser, a romance novelist (and former lawyer) with anxiety disorder who decided to embark on a yearlong project to meet every one of her then 335 facebook friends in order to stretch her boundaries (which, at that time, were the four walls of her home).  

Delving a little deeper, I found Presser's intriguing Wikipedia bio:  "Presser was born on July 23, 1960 to Justin and Aleta Leiber, who later put her up for adoption before divorcing. Presser was adopted by Donald and Judy Patrick of Western Springs and given the name Lynn Melody Patrick. She left the Patrick family when she was 15 and became a ward of the DuPage County Juvenile Justice agency. Presser did not finish high school but graduated from the Northwestern University School of Law in 1985. She married Stephen B. Presser and had two sons together before divorcing in 2010."

So, at the time she began her Face to Facebook project, she had just become a divorcée.  Curiouser and curiouser.

Today, a couple of years after her project ended, guess what?  She's now up to 5,000 facebook friends, and you can see glamorous photos of her on her facebook page

In my opinion, Presser's get-out-of-the-house project was a brilliant way to become a dynamic divorcée.   So, here's her Face to Facebook blog from the very beginning for your perusal.  I have to confess that I haven't read it all, but it strikes me that her life got a lot bigger and more colorful during her year of self-enforced tête-à-têtes all over the world, and she continues her blog to this day. 

Need another reason to reach out and touch someone?  Watch this video to find out how checking in with folks you barely know, or haven't contacted in a long time can pay big rewards -- personally or professionally.  Don't let the fact that this video comes from Inc. magazine's Idea Lab make you click away.  It is worth the view.  In spades.

Hope you'll be inspired and think about whom you'd like to be back in touch with . . . or meet for the first time.  If a 50-year-old with anxiety disorder can do it, you can, too!

Friday, October 10, 2014

Moscow, Belgium: When you need a film that commiserates with you . . .

This weekend's suggested movie viewing is Moscow, Belgium, the 2008 film by director Christophe Van Rompaey.

If you're tired of a string of lackluster dates, this film will convince you that your experiences are not really thaaaat bad.

The film is billed as a comedy, but it's more a drama with touching comedic elements.  Set in Belgium, in a working-class neighborhood on the outskirts of Ghent, we follow the life of 41-year-old, yet-to-be-divorced Matty, as she works at her dead-end job, goes about raising her three children, and begins a relationship with a truck driver, despite herself.

A phenomenal character study of a single, midlife mom.  Without the Cinderella ending.  Very much worth the viewing, and you may see parts of yourself in Barbara Sarafian's portrayal of the leading character.  Sometimes it's much easier to see yourself outside of yourself, in someone else.

Here's the New York Times review.  And, here's a Netflix link to the film.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Least pain = Most gain

For most of their lives, most of my clients (I really want to say all of my clients) have been over-working, over-giving, and over-functioning for others.  And, they wonder why no one has loved them as much as they have loved others.

They get into a habit, that often started in childhood, of trying to earn everything -- the hard way.  It's a value in our culture. 

"There's no free lunch."
"The best lessons are learned the hard way."
"Success is 99% perspiration."

This week's post will be brief.  I want you to test these kinds of assumptions by taking a look at any single goal you may have at this moment, and looking for the easiest possible way to achieve it.  What are the simplest, baby steps you could take to get closer?  Is there an easy way to solve the whole problem, but you couldn't see it because you expect the road to be long and hard?

Ask yourself:  "If this were easy, how would I do it?"

And, "Is there someone close to me who might give me advice on how I'm making this unnecessarily hard?"  (Tip:  Ask someone whose life is in balance, and has plenty of time to enjoy the good things in life.  Don't know anyone like this?  Then it's time to make new friends.  Or maybe take a radical approach to making new friends.  Or, join a Meetup group in your area -- but, make sure it's positive and fun, not a divorce recovery group where everyone complains about how awful life is in general and their exes in particular.)

Explore how you can find ways to "take the easy way out."  How can you turn the least pain into the most gain, in any area of your life?  Need help?  I'm always here. 

And, please comment on your experiences with this little exercise : ) .

Friday, September 26, 2014

Fake it 'til you become it

The Dynamic Divorcee onstage in a flamenco show power pose








“Our bodies change our minds, and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes." -- Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy

After 25 years as a flamenco dancer, and 12 years of teaching more than 1000 women to express their power through flamenco dance, it turns out I'd been adept at something called "power posing" without ever knowing it.

I found this out when one of my students sent me a link to what is now the second-most-viewed TED Talk of all time, entitled, "Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are."

And I started to think about taking what I had learned about transforming women through flamenco dance and transferring that experience and deep sense of knowing to my work with divorcing and divorced women.

I had already been working with body-centered concepts as I coached my divorce recovery clients.  You may remember this post -- my blog's all-time most popular one -- entitled, "Let your body send the message, 'I'm ready to receive!'"

All you need is 2 minutes
But "power poses" as described in Amy Cuddy's TED Talk were so direct, so simple, and results so immediate, that I couldn't wait to try them with my clients.  (And, I had up my sleeve a few new, more women-centered wrinkles on the poses Cuddy's research used.)

If you haven't see the TED Talk in question, here's some background from an article in the April 2, 2014 issue of the Princeton Alumni Weekly:
"When Amy Cuddy *05 walked into her classroom at Harvard Business School a few years ago to teach about power and influence, she found herself watching the body language of her students. Some of them — mostly men — were going straight to the middle of the room before class, leaning back, and generally occupying a lot of space. Others, mainly women, seemed to make themselves small — they hunched over, wrapped their arms around their bodies, and crossed their legs. These students also tended to participate less in class discussions and seemed less confident. When raising their hands, men were more likely to thrust them high in the air, while women seemed more tentative.

"Studying the postures of the women, Cuddy, who is a social psychologist, wondered: 'If I could change the way they sat, would that make them feel more powerful?' Cuddy took her hunch to the lab. With Dana Carney, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley, and postdoctoral associate Andy Yap, she came up with a study to examine how your body language affects not only how others perceive you, but how you perceive yourself. Their hypothesis was that pretending to be powerful, by striking a power pose, would make people feel more powerful — and, as a result, make them act more powerful."
Faking it actually allows you to become it
Cuddy says that faking the body language of a powerful person goes far beyond the old adage "fake it 'til you make it."  Faking it actually allows you to become it, to instantly embody the qualities that you're modeling.

Try it (this is so simple that there's no excuse not to):
1.  Assume a power pose (e.g., the Wonder Woman pose, with legs spread hip-width apart and hands on hips, or the Pride Pose with legs hip-width apart and arms stretched overhead in a V)
2.  Hold it for 2 minutes
3.  Go forth and conquer

Here's my twist on it:  Invisible to Irresistible
The body posture that Cuddy calls the Pride Pose was not included in her research, but I find it the most powerful one of all, and one that elicits immediate change.  None of this is new.  Kundalini yoga practitioners have developed many kriyas (techniques connecting mind, body, and spirit) based on placing the body in various positions, accompanied by breathing techniques that together jump-start remarkable changes in mood, emotions, and energy levels.

Want to explore these power poses, drawn from a variety of traditions, as well as other simple techniques that can give you instant and incredible personal magnetism?  Learn more about my Invisible to Irresistible 2-hour program.  You'll come away with a super-easy toolkit that changes everything.

And, here's Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk on how our body language affects how we think and feel about ourselves, and what we can do about it:



And here's the full Princeton Alumni Weekly article about Amy Cuddy.


Sunday, September 21, 2014

The space between what we desire and what we don't have

Today's guest blog post is from my friend Dorine Nafziger, and it's about acknowledging life traumas on the way to experiencing breakthroughs to your deepest desires.  Dorine also talks about how practices as simple as use of essential oils can be such lifesavers on the journey.


Dorine Nafziger
Have you ever wanted something SO badly but felt like you’d never get it?  Maybe you were even afraid to admit that you even wanted it?  

After 11 years of marriage, I find myself still shaking my head in wonder. 

Fourteen years ago, I was absolutely, positively certain I’d never find love.  No husband.  No kids.  Not for me, it just wasn’t meant to be.  I wasn’t lovable.  

What I noticed is that when I don’t immediately get what I want, it can be tempting to blame myself.  I wonder if maybe I’m not good enough, smart enough -- whatever enough.

It can be really hard to sit in the place of unknowing, struggling to believe in the possibility of receiving what we desire deep down.   It’s much easier to lose faith and only feel the tension. 

The space between what we desire and what we don’t have is probably one of the most dreaded and avoided spaces in the world.  But what if you could appreciate the tension of living in between wanting what you want and not having it? 

Appreciate the tension – whaaaaaa?!

Yes. Instead of trying to control the situation or berating ourselves for not being perfect already, we can appreciate the process.

For instance, when I met my husband, I didn’t like him.  He irritated me.  We were in the same circle of friends though, so we saw each other often.  I remember thinking more than once, “Who does that guy think he is?” and it came out as anger.  Not surprisingly, he thought on more than one occasion, “What’s up with that girl?”  We repelled each other. 

But without the tension pulling between two things, nothing new can be born.  (Ever given birth?)

Tension is a powerful process that pushes and shapes our desires into being. 
When you feel that tension, you can celebrate because it means things are really cooking!!  What you want is on its way!  Just like in cooking, some things need to simmer all day before yielding succulent flavors (stew), while others require no cooking (fresh berries off the vine) to give us an instant rush of taste.

So, imagine my surprise when a year after I had first met him, this guy who irritated me so much confronted my anger. 

He just asked, “Why? Why are you so angry?”  And for whatever reason (divine timing!) all my pretenses and angry defenses fell away.   My whole body remembered why I was so angry.  The reason I thought I was so unlovable.  I had blocked out the memory of my childhood sexual abuse.

While it was scary to remember something so excruciating, so devastating, that I had worked so hard all my life to forget, it also put all the puzzle pieces of my life in place.  Everything suddenly made sense.  I truly believe that my biggest grief -- this trauma, opened the way to my greatest joy.   

Through my tears, there before me I saw my greatest ally.  We walked outside and I saw color for the first time. We walked slowly, like caterpillars, taking it all in.

Shortly after, to support myself in between therapy sessions, I discovered doTERRA therapeutic grade essential oils.  These pure plant medicines supported me in the places where I got triggered and spun out, when everything felt scary and I wanted to hide. 

I developed a practice of putting a grounding essential oil blend called Balance on my feet in the morning.  Next, I’d think of my intention for healing and place a drop of joyful essential oil blend called Elevation on my heart. 

This simple daily practice of consciously calling in and receiving support with the intention for joy and healing changed me.  Now, 11 happily wedded years later with two beautiful sons, I know for certain that just beyond your greatest grief, is your greatest joy. 

I am forever grateful to both my husband and doTERRA essential oils for being some of my greatest allies of this journey of healing.

Dorine Nafziger has offered my readers a free 30-minute consultation on how essential oils can support your physical and emotional well-being as you move through your divorce recovery experience.  See her fun Dorine's Cooking with Essential Oils page on facebook, or contact her directly at dorinnenafziger@gmail.com.