Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New Year's Eve with the not-quite-right guy

Here I am on New Year's Eve 2012, on -- what? -- a date.

Although I've meant to write about my experiences with online dating, every time I started a post that veered in that direction, I got so bored that I gave it up by sentence number two.

So, when my long-distance-relationship Mister Wrong of the past five years emerged yet again to darken my door -- and kept coming back during the holidays as a good-faith gesture, I figured that a night out rather than a night at home alone seemed more fun for New Year's Eve.

And it was.

I've found that when it comes to my Mister Wrong, he makes a perfectly fine-for-now companion as long as I keep my boundaries clear, don't let him get physical with me, and keep my head on straight.

I'm fine as long as I don't believe any of his hinted-at-promises (which, at this point, he almost believes himself).  I keep reminding myself something that I've only learned since my divorce:  Yes, some men can retain their trademark teflon properties all the way up to death's door (and perhaps beyond).  Nothing you can possibly do will make more than a passing impression.

No, ladies, don't take the bait that if you only changed about three dozen additional things about yourself that -- aha! -- then, he'll be willing to come through for you.

More from me later on this, no doubt : ) .  But, in the meanwhile, don't take anyone too seriously unless he shows you he's serious.  The right one will have no trouble letting you know.  In the meantime, let's learn from our merry middle-aged bachelor friends -- and have fun.