Monday, November 26, 2012

100 Days of Rejection Therapy . . . and Eleanor Roosevelt

Today, I came across an online story about  Jia Jiang, an Austin, Texas entrepreneur who is trying to desensitize himself from rejection by undertaking 100 Days of Rejection Therapy.  Here's a link to the blog in which he details his exploits.

In his own words, he's "aiming to have one rejection per day by making crazy requests."

What does this have to do with single, over-40 women forging cool new lives for themselves?  Everything!   The best chance for a great second half of life is in having the confidence not to jump into a luke-warm, less-than-great relationship in exchange for companionship.  It takes a little courage to explore life on your own for a bit, and decide what it is you really want.  And, to be unafraid to go for it.

I hadn't thought about undergoing "rejection therapy" myself, but many decades ago Eleanor Roosevelt advocated a slightly different form of this in a quote often attributed to her:  "Do one thing every day that scares you."

Among other Eleanor Roosevelt aphorisms:
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.” 
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." 
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 
“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”  (a personal favorite)

Find out more about Eleanor Roosevelt here.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Widow's take on the single life

I want to share a blog post by my writer and publicist Elaine Soloway on the recent death of her husband after her three years as a caregiver.  Very soon after recovery from her own hip-replacement surgery, she suddenly and unexpectedly lost her husband.  If you can relate, this is a must-read, as is her entire The Rookie Caregiver blog.

And, Elaine has just begun a blog for the next steps on her life journey, The Rookie Widow.

Friday, November 9, 2012

I am enormous -- get used to it : )

all of my life
I've never fit
but I won't complain and I won't quit
I am enormous
get used to it
everyone tells me I'm too much
maybe it's just you're not enough for me
can't you see
I'm the kind of the woman I'm supposed to be
-- Storm Large

Friday, November 2, 2012

If you think you're beautiful, you are beautiful. That's the way it rolls.

Watching a recent Ricki Lake Show episode dedicated to female empowerment, I was struck by how uncomfortable the audience and host were with their own bodies and desires.  And I don't even mean sexual desires.  When asked by guest Mama Gena to brag about themselves, to look into a mirror and say "You are hot!", or even to verbalize the desires they had for themselves and their lives, the discomfort was highly apparent.

Wow, I knew it was bad, but didn't realize it was this bad. 

An interesting moment came when guest Sheila Kelley (who pioneered pole dancing as exercise -- don't get me started -- women are so out of touch with their bodies that we have to emulate strippers to get in touch? strippers are some of the most wounded of all women, and they're more in touch with what gets men off than what they're feeling inside, but I digress . . .) led the audience through an exercise in which they were asked to relax and get in touch with their nerve endings by stroking their own arms and legs.  Wow, uncomfortable to watch the audience squirm! 

But what a wonderful exercise.  Just to give ourselves the benefit of touch in a feminine way.  This should be part of every yoga class -- and it's going to start being part of every dance class I teach. 

Now, can someone come up with a practice to gets women in touch with their bodies that doesn't rely on the sad and lonely world of sex workers as a touchstone?

If you're not familiar with Mama Gena and her simple message of permission to have pleasure in life, want to see the self-stroking exercise, and want to hear a great song from Storm Large (check my next post for her music video), you can watch the entire Ricki Lake episode here.